The Ballad of Young Robert

Young Robert was quite lazy and did much to avoid work

Many hung around him, yet most thought him a real jerk

Young Robert’s looks brought him some attention and fifteen minutes of fame

Young Robert had nothing else of substance, no other honor to claim

Young Robert would steal for profit, or pocket an item for sport

Young Robert would tell great lies and even perjure himself openly in court

Young Robert covers his emptiness with silk linings and patches his holes with purple labels

Self proclaimed "the Great One" hero of tall tales and magnificent fables

Young Robert values old friends like the immortals value life

Young Robert cheats in business like he cheats on his gullible wife

Young Robert’s big house is empty, with nice cars in the drive

Greed is what sustains him and gluttony keeps him alive

If you dine with young Robert, you’ll oft have to pick up the check

In business he’s no better, his work you must carefully inspect

Young Robert says there is no God in Heaven and surely not here on the Earth

His pockets are swollen with borrowed money but his life has no worth